one day only "shorts sale"

since all the past theme sales have been going over so fantastic and so many people come through and really seem to like the "audience participation" aspect of getting a discount we're having another one this Saturday, May 21st. we're calling it a "shorts sale". 

we all know that wearing shorts isn't cool anymore...hell, we don't even have any shorts to sell.  the idea is that if you come in wearing shorts you get a discount.  how much, you ask?  it depends on the "shortness" of the shorts.  the deals break down as follows:  barely tell they're shorts=5% off.  standard, below the knee type=10%, above the knee/looking a little like a fancy boy=15% and the super short,  show 'em if ya got 'em, say it loud say it proud, Kris Marcum pro model will get you 20% off and probably beat up by a jock.  of course, as always there are some rules.  first, the discounts will be taken from the retail prices. questionable lengths will be ruled upon in favor of us. also, the discounts aren't for every random short pants shlub, you have to tell us that you're here for the shorts sale and having an temporary Esaych tattoo on your neck or bringing (or being) a girl in tiny shorts (or skirt) will get you extra credit.  we don't know why but girls don't usually like our store so we have to bribe them to come in...what about Brenda?  she doesn't count, she's not a real girl.